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Memories #1

Posted in Memories at 3:32 pm by guy_simmons

I remember a most distressing period of my life, notable for the fact that I started periodically producing stunningly green poo, I think I was about 10 when it first started & it carried on ’til I was about 13 or so.  It was really worrying, I’d glance down the toilet & soylent green would stare back at me.  I never told anyone about it, but I secretly stressed that I had something seriously wrong with my innards until it just stopped one day, never came back & I forgot all about it.

Years later I wandered into a news agent & upon buying my copy of 2000AD I noticed the slush puppie machine behind the counter & thought to myself “golly, I haven’t had one of those in years!” & so I purchased a small raspberry slushy beverage for myself.  Now the odd thing about the raspberry flavouring was that it was bright blue & the next day I produced the oddest bluest shit known to man.  Suddenly all those years of anxiety came flooding back & at the same instant melted away, as I remembered my favourite drink as a nipper was slush puppie & that my “thing” was always making sure I got one squirt of raspberry (blue) & one squirt of orange (orange) which produced a scarily green conconction that I could wave under my friends noses to gross them out.

Food colouring is a wonderful thing.